Monthly Archives: August 2011

No Lady Gaga at MTV VMAs

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I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a Lady Gaga album. Maybe even two, though I didn’t pay for them (it wasn’t covered in the divorce settlement).
So, I’ll admit listening to her music, but I really don’t need to see her in a dress constructed entirely of pig entrails or a blood-red Queen of Hearts outfit from “Alice in Wonderland.”
Thankfully, the bizarre singer-songwriter was nowhere to be seen at the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday night. Instead, performing, presenting, and accepting the award for Best Female Video was a “man” named Jo Calderone.
I began to have flashbacks of when I was 6 years old and forced to try on a Rainbow Brite dress for my cousin, Jill, who was about the same size I was.
Looking like an extra from the movie “Grease” crossed with Al Pacino’s “Scarface” character Tony Montana, Calderone opened the show by smoking a cigarette and reciting a five-minute diatribe about nothing in a half-hearted Bronx accent.

Lady Gaga as Jo Calderone

Lady Gaga performs at the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday in Los Angeles. (Matt Sayles / Associated Press)

The awkwardness ended — almost — when (s)he bellied up to the piano and performed Gaga’s hit “You And I” (I’ll be the first to say she’s a quality singer-songwriter-dancer) with help from legendary Queen guitarist Brian May.
Then the (accidental) laughs came.
At one point during the performance, Gaga/Calderone stood on the piano and poured a bottle of beer on the floor. The camera shot changed just as she appeared to slip and fall on the spilled beer. The shot changed back a few seconds later as the singer got up off the ground.
The VMAs always have given way to the strange and provided a unique twist compared to the stereotypical awards show. This is Hollywood, not Ken Buehler at the Kitchi Gammi Club.
Coming in a close second for strangest was Katy Perry, who wore a hat that only could be described as a giant cheese cube — nothing to do with the Packers — atop her pink hair.
Lady Gaga wasn’t the only one who left the show with a bump.
Best New Artist went to 20-year-old hip-hop performer and producer Tyler, The Creator. While going to accept his award, Tyler jumped on stage and injured his foot. He confirmed it later in the night on Twitter. I’d give you his Twitter handle, but I can’t print it. It contains a word he said several times during his mostly bleeped-out acceptance speech.
The network’s annual event honors the year’s “best” music videos, which is funny considering MTV — it removed “Music Television” from its logo a while back — barely has room to cram videos onto its airwaves between episodes of “Teen Mom,” “Jersey Shore” and “16 and Pregnant.”
But with each year, even as the credibility of the award itself has increased, so, too, has that high-school-cool-kids’-table feel that tortures viewers.
Except they must be masochists, because a record 12.4 million watched, including me.
Next year I wouldn’t mind seeing Lady Gaga back at the show, only as a woman. I have a Rainbow Brite dress she can borrow.

Jimmy Bellamy is the multimedia editor at the Duluth News Tribune in Duluth, Minn. Contact him at (218) 723-5390 or jbellamy@duluthnews.com. This column originally appeared here.

Gadhafi: Pop culture meets reality

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The words shouted by Dr. Emmett Brown are still ringing in my head, decades after they were uttered.
“It’s the Libyans!” he screamed into the night from an empty Hill Valley, Calif., parking lot in 1985 as a baby blue Volkswagen van carrying a man firing a machine gun quickly approached.
That scene from the sci-fi movie “Back to the Future” — fair or not — was my introduction to the North African country of Libya.

Gadhafi statue

Rebel fighters trample on a head of Moammar Gadhafi inside the Libyan leader’s main compound in Tripoli on Tuesday. The longtime leader is still at large despite the opposition forces taking control of most of the city. (Sergey Ponomarev / Associated Press)

And it wasn’t until the attacks on the World Trade Center (1993 and 2001) and the bombing of the USS Cole that I expanded my image of terrorists beyond the “Libyans” portrayed in the film.
As a child of the ’80s, I haven’t given Moammar Gadhafi’s name the same villainous weight as Americans older than I am. Until recently, I’ve viewed him as more of a cartoon character than a threat to the greater good.
After spending a significant amount of time in America’s and President Reagan’s doghouse, Gadhafi went silent for 20-plus years. And when he did appear, he seemed like a caricature of the man who had been Public Enemy No. 1. His Bono-esque trademark sunglasses, combined with his lavish — and sometimes outlandish — attire, made him more of a late-night punch line than a despised dictator.
The PG-Gadhafi in my head merged with the real-life tyrant who denied Libya’s citizens their human rights and had thousands killed when singers Beyonce, Mariah Carey, Usher and Nelly Furtado were criticized this year for accepting “blood money” for performing for the leader’s children in the past four years.
It seems inevitable that his almost 42-year reign as dictator of Libya is days — if not hours — from coming to a close. Rebels in the country stormed Gadhafi’s compound Tuesday, but there was no sign of the 69-year-old and his loyal sons. This week, world leaders, including President Obama, urged the hated leader to step down as plans for a post-Gadhafi Libya began to take shape.
Another line from Doc Brown, played by Christopher Lloyd, in that scene from “Back to the Future” was: “They found me. I don’t know how, but they found me.”
Let’s hope those words, spoken in a fictitious film, will be said in a real-life ending for Gadhafi.

Jimmy Bellamy is the multimedia editor at the Duluth News Tribune in Duluth, Minn. Contact him at (218) 723-5390 or jbellamy@duluthnews.com. This column originally appeared here.

Move over, Abercrombie and Sitch; I’d pay good money not to …

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A clothing retailer known for ads featuring barely dressed young adults says it wants some well-known barely dressed young adults not to wear its brand. And will pay them not to.

The Situation

In an Aug. 11 episode, Sorrentino wore neon green A&F-label sweatpants. (Mel Evans / Associated Press)

Abercrombie & Fitch this week offered “substantial payment” to Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino and other cast members of the somehow-popular MTV show “The Jersey Shore” to keep A&F clothing off their bodies.

The show, which follows a group of eight alleged “Italian Americans” (not all of them are) as they party, fight, tan and party some more, is airing its fourth season. It’s set in Florence, Italy, with previous seasons located in Seaside Heights, N.J., and Miami.

So what’s the problem?

“We are deeply concerned that Mr. Sorrentino’s association with our brand could cause significant damage to our image,” the company said about Sitch in a statement (I tried reaching a human being and was directed to a general e-mail address). “We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans.”

“Distressing”? “Fans”? Do clothing stores have fans? What’s distressing about the show is how often Sitch and Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi aren’t wearing any clothes, at least enough to cover the parts that you really don’t want to see. It doesn’t matter if it’s Abercrombie or Wrangler; just put on something.

“It’s a clever PR stunt” to get attention during the back-to-school shopping period, MTV shot back in response to Abercrombie’s offer.

Possibly, but the response sounds like MTV’s own PR stunt.

The Situation

This was one of the rare moments when "The Situation" was caught wearing a shirt. (2010 file / Associated Press)

All of this seems very tongue-in-cheek, and A&F hasn’t disclosed how much it would pay. But it got me thinking — who would I pay for someone not to do something?

I’d pony up some extra cash at stores if they agree not to ask for everything short of my Social Security number and blood type whenever I buy a Red Bull. (Instead, for my phone number, I give them (218) 722-8463.)

I’ll pay for the price of your ticket if you can sit through an entire UMD hockey game without drunkenly yelling obscenities from your seat.

How much will it cost to make sure that 40 percent of the “women from your area” listed on online dating sites aren’t girls who went to Lincoln Park, Nettleton and Denfeld with me?

Want to drive 35 mph on the one-lane stretch of I-35? Here’s $10. Take Michigan Street.

Here’s some more money for not sending Facebook “friend” requests from your taxi service, nonprofit organization or annual event just because we’re mutual friends with Don Ness and John Goldfine.

And Abercrombie & Fitch, I’ll even give you 20 bucks to cut a bigger check to ensure The Situation and his buddies not appear on TV ever again.

Jimmy Bellamy is the multimedia editor at the Duluth News Tribune. Contact him at (218) 723-5390 or jbellamy@duluthnews.com. Follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/jimmybellamy. This column originally appeared here.