I like hats. I have a lot of them. And I certainly have no need to acquire any more.
But I also like when things match. My softball team wears green shirts, but I don’t have a green hat.
A recent trip to the mall did little to fill the void in my collection. Lids, my go-to store — customers can get 20 percent off all hats for a year for a one-time fee of $5 — had little to offer other than a green Boston Red Sox hat, and a couple Notre Dame hats with shamrocks as logos. I almost bit on the Red Sox hat, but thought I’d give Champs Sports a try first. I figured since there was a GREEN RED Sox hat, there might be a green Minnesota Twins hat.
I wandered over to Champs, only to find atrocities like the one you see here. The photo shown is of a hat off the Lids Web site. But at least Lids has hats with preformed brims, too. Champs had nothing except hats with no fewer than 27 logos (an estimation) and brims flatter than the 2-liter bottle of Sierra Mist that has been on my desk for two months.
The hats at Champs SPORTS had nothing to do with SPORTS (aside from the team affiliation) and more to do with the latest Lil’ Wayne video. Clearly there’s a market for hats with cocked logos and graffiti-infested tops, because I often see them when I drive past the Holiday Center in downtown Duluth. But are they so popular that stores won’t sell hats that one might actually be able to wear without looking like an idiot?