Jimmy Jabber

Five months. That’s how long I give it before rumors of Brett Favre and his desire to join the Minnesota Vikings flood sports talk airwaves and ESPNEWS coverage.

Favre, who turns 40 on Oct. 10, became a former New York Jets quarterback Thursday after his agent announced the QB’s retirement for the second time in less than a year.

Sounds like the guy’s going to need shoulder surgery after playing 269 consecutive regular-season games during an 18-year NFL career that included time with the Atlanta Falcons and Green Bay Packers.

But I can just hear it now: After surgery, and a summer’s stay at John Madden’s house, Favre feels rejuvenated and figures he can give it another go with a team that plays in a dome, where he can stay warm. No one likes a cold Brett Favre. Just ask the 2007 Packers.

Local football teams the Duluth-Superior Shoremen and Superior Stampede should make a run at Favre. They play in the summer, so it’s kind of warm. The Shoremen could sell Favre on the fact that Public Schools Stadium in Duluth has a nice locker room. Then the Stampede can counter with the fact that they play in Wisconsin (reunited, and it feels so good) and have a radio deal.

Photo by Bill Kostroun / Associated Press

Word on the street (street being the New York Daily News) is that the Oakland Athletics are interested in signing first baseman-designated hitter Jason Giambi.

A member of the A’s for the first seven years of his career, Giambi (at left in 2000, below in 2008) could return to the bay after spending seven seasons with the New York Yankees. No one expected that Giambi, who turns 38 on Jan. 8, would stay with the Yankees, who signed first baseman Mark Teixeira to an eight-year, $180 million deal today.

When Giambi signed with New York in 2002, he was forced to clean up his appearance. The Yankees have a strict policy regarding hair, facial hair and uniforms, so Giambi had to leave his long hair, goatee and exposed tattoos in California. Now that it appears he could be headed back to Oakland, I hope he brings back the dirty, scary guy look.

Minnesota Duluth 21, Northwest Missouri State 14

Congratulations, UMD, on the NCAA Division II football championship.

I don’t know what’s worse: that a Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death when at least 2,000 people rushed into a New York store Thursday morning, or the fact that at least 2,000 PEOPLE were waiting to shop at a Wal-Mart.

Photo by Ed Betz / Associated Press

Hardcore legends Mick Foley (left) and Terry Funk (right) highlighted Heavy on Wrestling‘s "Have a Funkin’ Nice Day" show Saturday night at Mortorelli Gym on the campus of the University of Wisconsin-Superior.

Foley, a three-time World Wrestling Entertainment champion also known as Mankind and Cactus Jack, was the referee, while Funk, a 64-year-old with the constitution of a vending machine, was the special enforcer in the main event, HOW’s first heavyweight championship match between "Anarchist" Arik Cannon and "Professional" Ben Sailer.

Sailer, who left the match bloodied and looking like the aforementioned hardcore duo, came out on top at HOW’s fifth show since its inception in 2007, but the crowd of 1,091 responded — predictably — loudest for Foley and Funk.

"[Saturday] was amazing. I was in the ring with Terry Funk. I was in the ring with Mick Foley," said Cannon, a 26-year-old from Chicago. "Truth be told, both Terry Funk and Mick Foley were my favorites as a kid. So, personally, it couldn’t have gone any better."

The same goes for Dave Sabick, the 23-year-old Duluthian who owns and operates HOW.

"I’m to the point now where I’ve gotta come up with something that will make it even bigger," said Sabick, who was happy to break the 1,000-spectator mark and wants to host his next show in spring 2009. "We brought huge names here. We brought the best that you could probably get."

Cannon, a HOW regular who has wrestled worldwide for seven-plus years, wanted to be at his best Saturday for the promotion and his peers in the ring.

"I was nervous because of the implications of the show and how much this show meant to Heavy on Wrestling and the Duluth-Superior area. But as a wrestler, in my mind, I was like, ‘I just don’t want to mess anything up. I don’t want to look like a fool in front of these guys,’ " Cannon said of competing in a match that included Foley and Funk. "Arguably, these guys are two of the biggest names in professional wrestling. So the last thing I wanted do is trip and fall on my face. Any mistakes in the ring would have been a burden for me."

Sabick said Funk, who has retired more times than George Foreman and Michael Jordan combined, wants to have a final match — involving barbed wire — against Cannon at HOW’s next event.

"He told me, ‘If we’re gonna do this, let’s sell it out,’ " Sabick said.

Results:

"Popular" Nate Bash def. Austin Aries

Mikey from "Spirit Squad" def. Dicky Rodz

Cherry def. Dafney and Ann Brookstone (triple-threat match)

Arya Daivari wins four-way elimination tables match for No. 1 contender spot against Venom, "The Future" Joey Envy and Big Brody Hoofer

The Highlanders (Robbie and Rory McAllister) def. The North Star Express (Ryan Cruz and Darin Corbin)

Black Stallion def. Giant Thoruf Marius (with the help of Midget Bad Boy Brian, who turned heel on Marius)

"Professional" Ben Sailer def. "Anarchist" Arik Cannon

Truer words never have been shouted. I write "shouted" because Joey Porter (right) doesn’t speak, he shouts.

The Miami Dolphins linebacker was on the mark when talking about Jacksonville Jaguars wide receiver Matt Jones, who was arrested for felony cocaine possession in July but hasn’t missed a game because of a pending three-game suspension appeal.

"He got caught with cocaine and Matt Jones is still playing football. How does he get away with that?" Porter said in an ESPN.com story. "And then you fine people $20,000 for making comments to the media about the refs. The guy got caught with cocaine."

Porter should be perplexed. He was fined said amount for criticizing a ref earlier this season, and players get suspended all the time for violent hits. But somehow this guy gets to skate — for now — for cocaine possession?

Jones agreed to enter a treatment program that could erase the charge. The guy should just volunteer to sit out regardless of how his appeal turns out.

After watching parts of Tuesday’s news conference where 79-year-old Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis explained why he fired head coach Lane Kiffin, I asked myself the very question posed as the headline.

If you aren’t familiar with the latest Raiders saga, here’s a refresher. If you aren’t familiar with Skeletor, click here. NFL insiders have speculated, no, reported for WEEKS that Davis was going to fire Kiffin/ask Kiffin to resign/have others in the organization tell Kiffin he was being let go/change the locks on the Raiders’ offices without telling Kiffin. It finally happened Monday, one day after Oakland’s loss to San Diego dropped it to 1-3.

I’m not going to spend the following post saying the obvious: Dude (Davis) is crazy and should have the Raiders franchise pried from his bony, arthritic hands.

Fire the guy; that’s fine. Kiffin’s record in one-plus seasons was 3-17. But the problem is he shouldn’t have been hired in the first place. He’s young, inexperienced and never stood a chance with the wacky Davis in charge.

I’m not against young and inexperienced people in the workplace, I’m just not in favor of Al Davis hiring anyone to do anything football-related. If you’re going to hire a guy like Kiffin, you need to give him more time. Who do you think you are, Al? Glen Taylor or Kevin McHale? The Raiders have had five head coaches — Bill Callahan, Norv Turner, Art Shell, Kiffin and now, interim Tom Cable — since Jon Gruden left for Tampa Bay in 2002. Davis goes through coaches faster than Pamela Anderson goes through husbands.

Maybe Al Davis and Skeletor are different people. I know one thing’s for sure: Skeletor wouldn’t fire Beastman after he failed to capture He-Man 17 times.

Photo of Skeletor (on right), I mean, Al Davis, by Paul Sakuma / Associated Press